Happy End of the World Day!

I am bad.

I sent Office Boyfriend an email reminding him today is the recalculated end of the world (from familyradio.com since they got May 21 wrong).

He replied "I can't respond right now, too busy ascending havenward. So long, sucker!"

So I replied "So THAT'S the reason I won't be ascending!"

(You'll get it later if you don't get it now)

Damn Debbies

I hate Debbies.

I hate them with a passion!

You see, I went to see The Lion King 3D this evening at my local AMC Theater. It's my favoritest movie in the whole wide world. It's the ONLY movie I've ever paid to see in theaters after I owned it on video.. and now TWICE!

Anyways, I go to the theater and understand that there's going to be children there. It IS a Disney movie, afterall [even though I went to the 8pm showing expecting it to be past most of their bedtimes, but I digress]. I'm "OK" with the occasional chatter of a child when I'm at a Disney movie. I understand that they don't always know better, but sometimes their parents want to see a movie as much as they think the kids do.

Anyways, this group of three Debbies came in to the theater... loud and obnoxious, and wanted to turn the movie into a sing-along. A F'N SING-ALONG! AND THEY WERE MORE TONE DEAF THAN I AM! [Note, if you don't know my voice, it's a cross between William Hung and the Ken Lee girl]. Now, mind you, these were either high school or college aged Debbies. Old enough to know better, but obviously not old enough to appreciate things.

Now, let's think about this. The price of a ticket is $11. Add $4 for the 3D glasses. I was talked into the $12 Stubs program. And I bought $11.50 worth of concessions. So, that's $38.50. I could sit in the cheap seats at the Fox Theater of a live show for that price. But, I digress.

So, these Debbies were talking through half the movie, and singing along, and jumping about. Completely disturbing the enjoyment of the movie. And, at the end, they decide to squeal!

While I understand that everyone sitting in that theater probably has seen the movie before, and some of us can quote it line for line, there's a simple appreciation for a film being able to see it on the big screen. Especially at the prices movies have gotten to be.

I partially blame AMC Theaters for this. While they can't screen every patron that comes through their doors to ensure the movie experience will be enjoyable for everyone, they CAN have their ushers "patrol" the theaters to ensure people are being quiet [it wouldn't have been polite to other patrons for me to yell across the theater to demand they shut up, especially in front of children*]. Apparently the "Please be courteous to others" segment before movies isn't doing enough.

And, for that matter, opening your cell phone to look at the time or check messages, or whatever you do should get you banned from theaters.

So, AMC, please patrol your theaters during showings. At these ticket prices, I'm sure you can afford to hire someone to sit in the theater to keep people quiet. It should not be up to a patron to exit a movie, spend time to find someone who works there to correct the problem. You MISS pieces of the movie that way.

Kinda makes me wish I lived near the Alamo Drafthouse:




*Yes, I understand that I don't normally think of things like this, but I DO TRY not to be a bad influence on children.

What's the difference between jelly and jam?

WARNING!
WARNING!
THIS POST IS MORE OFFENSIVE THAN NORMAL
WARNING!
WARNING!

So, we were doing our regular lunch routine.

Office Boyfriend, Other Gay, and I were watching Family Feud in the break room while we ate our Subway sandwiches.

And a Smucker's commercial came on.

And, Office Boyfriend innocently asked, "What's the difference between jelly and jam?"

I covered my mouth instantly. For good reason -- other people were in the break room.

When it cleared, OB & OG wanted to know what I stopped in my tracks for.

I innocently said, "You can't jelly your cock up someone's ass."

The sheer looks of horror....

Then, I had to explain that it was a joke on How I Met Your Mother that Barney said that offended Lilly so bad she stayed away for like five episodes (while Alyson Hannigan was preggers)

Still more McDonald's

So, after the response from the General Manager of the local McDonald's, went back (not with my "free meal letter", rather as a regular customer) to see if anything has change.

After my experience, I replied to the GM with this:

Ms. General Manager,

I would like to let you know I revisited the 1305 Powers Ferry Rd McDonald's location again today by way of the drive through. My visit was in the heart of the "dinner service" at 6pm. There was no line in the drive through. Below are my reactions (as a continuation of my previous feedback through McDonalds.com):

- I ordered a Mickey D's Sweet Tea as my beverage with the hopes the "automated beverage machine" wouldn't underfill my beverage. Again, my beverage was underfilled -- almost 1/2" below the "fill line" inside the cup.

- The ice in my beverage was filled as if the Sweet Tea was freshly brewed. This made me feel more cheated out of my beverage as I was able to refill the cup full of ice with my 16.9oz bottle of water and it filled higher than when the cup of Mickey D's Sweet Tea was presented to me. So, I got less than half the amount than the advertised 32oz.

- My fries were cold and tasted stale (I live 1.4 miles / 4 minutes from the location. Not enough time for them to get stale OR cold)

- My quarter pounder with cheese was equally cold and stale tasting.

Please do not feel I'm singling out this McDonald's location in my complaint. I receive similar customer service at most McDonald's locations I visit. This is weird to me as Chick-Fil-A is my fast food restaurant of choice. They don't have automated machines to fill beverages. They don't have pre-cooked foods sitting in containers for who knows how long. They don't have "self-serve" machines for their beverages. Chick-Fil-A employees handle everything on the food/beverage side of the customer experience. I RARELY wait longer than 2-3 minutes after placing my order before my food is in hand. And the times I do, there's a restaurant full of people, so it's expected it could happen. And, no matter how slow the Chick-Fil-A location is, my food always makes it home HOT -- and I am more than twice as far away from the nearest Chick-Fil-A as I am from the Powers Ferry McDonald's.

Unfortunately, the McDonald's philosophy seems to be the opposite - get machines to greet you at the drive through; Get machines to dispense beverages (poorly); Let food set until it's cold and still serve it; Make the customer fill their own beverage when dining in; Have extended wait times when there shouldn't be. Taking the "service" part out of "Customer Service"

So, why is it I have 110% satisfaction at Chick-Fil-A, yet have a significantly lower satisfaction at a restaurant that has so many "efficiencies" in place? (And how are they "efficiencies" when I've seen Chick-Fil-A serve more customers per register during a busy lunch rush than McDonald's) There are many items on the McDonald's menu I enjoy, but am reluctant to enjoy them due to the experiences at McDonald's in general.

Thanks,

Smply

Seriously -- I know I love Jesus Chicken even though I'm supposedly not allowed to (I don't support the previous link), and I eat there WAY too much (a friend of mine says I'm there "more than any church-goer [he] knows"). But, the reason I go back is because their customer service ROCKS! And their food tastes AWESOME! You're not treated like another dollar that needs to be ensured via food cost. The problem is Jesus Chicken isn't open on Sundays (a philosophy I'm not completely against).

Why can't other places be like that?

I got ANOTHER response

Ignoring my repeated previous responses, I got yet another response from McDonald's.

This is still kinda form-lettered, but a little more tailored.

Dear Mr. Unprdctble:

Thank you for taking the time to share your recent experience at the McDonald’s located at 1305 Powers Ferry Road, Marietta, GA. As the General Manager of this restaurant, I apologize that you were not satisfied with your recent visit.

Our goal is 100-percent customer satisfaction and my team works hard to deliver fast, friendly, and accurate service to guarantee that each visit you make is a pleasant one. I’m sorry that you encountered slow service in the Drive-Thru and that your soda was under-filled.

Please be assured that your comment serves as a valuable reminder that our customers are our number one priority. I have shared your experience with my team. If you have any further problems please don’t hesitate to call me.

Please give me a call at your convenience to discuss your visit or accept our apology and stop back by with this letter for a free meal.

Sincerely,

General Manager's Name
General Manager
Powers Ferry Road McDonald’s
(770) XXX-XXXX

Note the underlining! It really was underlined there in what was sent!

Now, should I call or not? And if so, what should I say other than "Dude! You need to actually fill cups!"?

I got a response!

So, I got a response from my complaint to McDonald's.

On May 18, I got the following:

Hello Smply:

I want to thank you for taking the time to share your recent experience at the McDonald's in Marietta, GA with me. Your feedback is very important to us as it allows us to better understand how we can improve our service to you.

I am sorry for your dissatisfaction with the portion size of the drinks and for the slow service you received. Please be assured that we want to provide you with an exceptional experience every time you visit us. From your email, it is clear we did not meet your expectations. Again, I am truly sorry we disappointed you.

I want you to know that I have already taken action on your feedback. After reading your email, I immediately shared the information you brought to our attention with the local franchise owner of the restaurant you visited. Additionally, I notified our regional McDonald's consultant who works with this owner for follow-up in the restaurant and appropriate corrective action.

Again, Smply, thank you for sharing your feedback. We appreciate your business and we hope to have the pleasure of serving you soon.


Ashley
McDonald's Customer Response Center

What's funny is I got the exact same form letter on May 19.

I doubt anything will be done, but peeps said they wanted to know if I got a response.

My letter to McDonald's

I had a pretty wrong experience at my local McDonald's. So bad that I decided to write a letter, which I'm sharing with you.

Today, I was embarrassed for my local McDonald's.

Today, I visited the McDonald's on Powers Ferry just south of Delk. I spent two or three minutes waiting to decide when another customer told me about the 2 for $2.50 Egg McMuffins. So, I made my purchase of 2 Egg McMuffins, a pair of hashbrowns, and a large soda at 9:47am.

During the time I was waiting for my food, three customers complained about the orange juice filling an inch below the cup lid. The employee's response was always "That's for room in case you want ice." Seriously, who wants ice in their orange juice? I say charge an extra nickel and fill it -- and if someone wants ice in their OJ, it becomes their loss of volume and a few cents in McD's pockets. (This is not my first complaint about this as when I order through the drive through, my soda is always an inch from the top -- and it has ice in it)

I digress -- I continued waiting for my food. Eventually, people who ordered as I walked in had finished eating their meals and left. In the end, it took thirteen minutes from the time I ordered to the time I got my food. Thirteen minutes to get something off the menu labeled a "Number One." That is beyond ridiculous for a "fast food" restaurant when there was only one order in front of mine.