Thursday, August 28, 2014

I went and got a new phone!

So, I *heart* T-Mobile.  They have the most awesome prices and their coverage where I live is great! (we won't discuss if I want to visit a friend at the edge of coverage in Enfield, CT... or if I go to the Berkshires... but, seriously, how often is that, and if I'm in either of those places, I don't even care about my phone!).  Anyways, I got an email about getting a Samsung Galaxy Light for $48.  Yes... $48!  Not only that, but they would let me put it on their EIP program and it wouldn't cost me $48 up front.  Nooo... It would cost me sales tax up front and $2/mo for $48 months.  I can probably find more than that if I actually decided to roll and cash in the spare change collection I have all over my house.

Anyways, I go in the T-Mobile store by me.  I'm in a good mood because I'm going to be leaving with a new device (I'm optimistic!).  The manager was helping someone (I think she was a lesbian and she definitely looked like she could beat me up... But, I love lesbians, so I digress), and this mom and daughter arrived at the same time as me, and since I was polite and held the door for them.

The lesbian-like-person the manager was helping was eventually pushed off to some other T-Mobile employee who walked in (I'm guessing he was on his break when the lesbian-like-person came in?) -- I heard the manager talking her into a Galaxy S4.  Once she was pawned off to be rung up, the manager asked if the three off us were together.  I said "Nope, but they were here just before me."

The T-Mobile folks were totally friendly while I was waiting...  I was being offered a seat on the most uncomfortable looking "couch" I've ever seen.  I declined it and instead was eyeing some accessories after I saw I could EIP that as well.

The problem the girls in front of me were having was the child had gotten a warranty replacement, but it stopped working.  Manager said it was because who they bought it from stopped paying, so it got blocked.  It took a few minutes before the explanation of "this device came from T-Mobile" got through.  I found it odd that it would happen, but no company is perfect.  I guess the manager called the special Bat Hotline and got the phone unblocked through the magical elves on the other end of the line.  (Oh gee... now I'm imagining the T-Mobile Elf... I so want to elf-nap him... hold on a minute while I remember...

...ok, fantasy over)

Then it came to be my turn!

I handed Barbee (the manager) the print out of the email offer I got and said "I'd like this!"  She said that she was selling her last one at that very moment.  I looked at her and said "I'm in front of you, so I'm the only one you're talking to at this moment, so it's me, right?"

She said "No" as she pointed to the lesbian-like-person she was helping as I walked in the door.

I pointed myself to the lesbian-like-person and said "CURSE YOU!" in a highly cheerful and facetious tone as I shook my fist.  She giggled.  I was glad because I did not want to be mauled to pieces.

I asked Barbee if she could call Cumberland to see if they have any.  She paused and said "wait a minute, let me see if there's any in the shipment that came in" and walked into that magical back room that I'm picturing is something like Scrooge McDuck's vault, except instead of a swimming pool of gold, it's a swimming pool of cell phones.

She returns with one in hand and says that there was ONE in the shipment the got.

I don't know if I trust that statement, but I got my phone, so I don't care!

So, I was talking and said "hey... since you have it, I also saw a sign over there that says you'll EIP accessories of a certain price point.  I'm interested in that thing over there that I'm pointing to, but is behind that display, but I know I'm pointing right at it.  You know which one I'm talking about, right?"

She said "Of course.  The LG Tone, right?"

(mind you, I never got close enough to it to even hint at it if she was watching me earlier)

"Of course!", I replied.

She went to the back to see if they had any untouched ones back there (the one on display apparently had been fondled and tugged by kids since it was on the bottom shelf).  She brought out one and said "I only have this white one from the back... the one out here is black."

I said "I prefer the black one... and the one in your hand prefers to be called 'caucasian'" :)

She almost wet herself laughing at that point.  (Barbee's not white)

As we're ringing things up, she asks me if I tell her I want it all on EIP.

She gets the Tone on there, but tries to tell me the phone won't go on EIP.

I said "The email says 24 payments of $2, That's EIP!"

She looked back at the computer and said "oh, so it is on EIP.  Usually under fifty bucks can't go on EIP.  I guess they changed it for the promo."

Then she asks if I want JUMP.

I said "It's a $48 dollar phone.  I am not paying however much a month for insurance / upgradeability on a phone that's going to be my backup phone.  If it breaks, big whoop."

She pressures again offering a $10 credit on my bill.

(Yes, I know they get points or something for signing up for JUMP, but I seriously don't want that hassle.  I LOVE helping people get things... I fill out the surveys from Chick-fil-A even though I don't cash in the free sandwich because I know number of replies impacts their employee discount.  But, at the same time, I'm not going to sign up for something to get someone bonus points if I have to remember to cancel it.)

She finally gets the total and says "Guess how much you have to pay today."

I said "Nothing?  Oh wait... sales tax... I guess whatever 6% of however much my grand total is!"

Wound up being $7.07.  I was like "I don't know if I can afford that... I mean, it's more than my EIP monthly payment!"

She then starts talking about it being a backup phone and asks if I have my primary device.  I pulled out my Nexus5.  She wants to put the SIM in the GLight.  I was like "Can't I just bring it home?  Oh wait, you need to make sure it works before I leave the store.  Gotcha!"

I don't have my SIM Ejector Tool.

She pulls out a (kinda large) paper clip.  It's too big.

She then asks dude if he has the SIM Ejector Tool.

She goes to his desk and comes back with some Ejector Tool with a "G" on the holder-part.  It's too big.  Just barely.

She finds a smaller paper clip and we manage to get my SIM out.  She pops it into the GLight and turns it on.

She apparently skips allowing me to log into my Google account for some reason.  That irked me.  (I like doing it from the start for OCD purposes... which means I had to factory reset when I got home... but I digress).  While she's trying to get everything past so she can do the test call, an incoming call comes in.  She points the phone towards me and asks if I need to take it.

I stare and realize it's my sister's phone number -- soley based on the area code (I would have totally known had my Google Account been sync'd... grrr :)).  I answer it and tell my sister I'll call her right back and explain what's going on.  She does the test call, then asks if I want to put the SIM back in my N5.  I said "nnaa... let me play with the GLight for a bit."

She asks if I need help pairing my new Bluetooth.  I said "nnaa...  I'll figure it out... I may not be good at following directions, but I am good at reading them!"

So, yeah -- I have a new backup phone (previously it was my Nokia 3585... I think that will now be my backup-backup phone)... and a new Bluetooth headset.  All for like a $4.91/mo increase in my phone bill.  It's almost like Christmas!  Ok, I'm back on that Elf again... seriously, if anyone can just send him my way....