Thursday, December 4, 2008

What Would Jesus Do?

OK, Jesus Chicken people are out of Peppermint Chocolate Chip milkshake mix. I was distraught. I stared blankly at cute dude behind the counter.

I said, "In times like this, I have to think, what would Jesus do? -- I know, he'd turn the chocolate mix into Peppermint Chocolate Chip mix like he did with water and wine... now, you go back there and do that!"

Cute dude behind the counter wasn't particularly amused.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

"I'm sorry, she died in a freak blender accident."

In case I haven't informed my vast three readers (or any future people who may venture across this blog), I'm gay.

Yes, I have just officially come out of the closet! Or something like that.

Now, we'll get to gay marriage. I can't decide which direction I am on the fence regarding this. On one hand, I love the concept and how it could help things in the gay community be more "stable" -- but then there's the idea that some sugar daddy is going to have to pay gay alimony when his twink boy leaves him. That's going to cause a bigger stir.

Anyway, that "marriage" conversation leads into a conversation I got to have yesterday -- not once, but TWICE!
Caller: "Is there a Mrs. ?"
Me: "I'm sorry, no. *Sniffle* She died last month in a freak blender accident. I can't drink margaritas without breaking down anymore."
Now, the caller -- whether they be a salesperson, telemarketer, or whathaveyou -- naturally goes "Oh, I'm sorry." Then you can hear them clicking back and forth wondering "Is he for real? I really want to know how someone could have died in a freak blender accident!" And, of course, they cannot ask for fear of being insensitive.

At dinner, I got a fortune cookie that said something like "Your sense of humor was greatly appreciated today." -- I found great humor in that one!