Monday, December 16, 2013

You're impeding the progress of a minority!

So, I have two tickets for report changes for the peeps I like to support and everyone else hates because "they're too demanding."

Ok, had two tickets.  I sent one over to the Admin team because the "simplest" fix to that report is for the data to get fixed (an elimination didn't eliminate it to 0, rather to -1)

Anyways, I have a report fix for that in case the Admin team can't do their job, and I also have a set of reports for the other ticket I'd like to do.

Except, I can't do anything.

We're required to do our development in DEV now.  Except, DEV has no data for the application these reports point to.  And when I mean no data, the database file size is 0.  For some reason those idiots in Technical cleared the application.

So, I made the changes in DEV and was like "I'll test it in UAT!" -- So, I imported the reports into UAT.  Nope.  There's something going on with UAT that the reports will not run.

I've sent a number of emails to Technical saying "hey, you're preventing me from working" (I want to put "you're impeding the progress of a minority!", but they may get too confused).

I'm about ready to be like this:

Friday, November 15, 2013

These are not the droids you are looking for

So, I'm working from home yesterday.

I'm grooving through, being lazy an doing nothing getting things done, then all of a sudden, there's a knock-knock-knock at my door.

Now, the last time there was a knock at my door, it was Trick or Treaters.  Apparently this time it was just a Trick.

I open the door hoping it's the hot pest control guy, only to find this gentleman wearing yellow jeans (seriously? I know I know nothing about fashion, but REALLY?  Yellow jeans?  I don't understand).

"Are you expecting me?" he asks.

I give him a look of "I need more clarification as to what you're talking about, Willis."

He adds, "I'm Chris...?"

I look at him a little further and realize he's a homosexical.  DEFINITELY not my type.  And I responded "Oh!  I think you're looking for next door!" (ya know.. my gaybors)

It's not the first time something like this has happened.  I've had one other knock related to a trick my gaybor set up a few years ago, coincidentally on another work from home day (what's up with people not reading addresses?  Or, at least CALL the person you're expecting to meet to make sure you got the right house?).  Then there's the story of someone who accidentally went to the gaysian's house [opposite side of the gaybor], nobody was home, and went the wrong direction to walk in on a neighbor laying on the floor with his infant son.  (That one, apparently the cops got called and that)

To make things funnier, since it was my work from home, I hadn't showered yet, so I was all funky and hair all over.  The only thing I could imagine going through the poor trick's head was "he SO doesn't look like his pic!"

Friday, November 1, 2013

It's the Great Pumpkin!

First, this year was my very first year putting up a Halloween decoration!  It surprises a bunch of people because... well...  I'm a big kid at heart.  Behold my decoration:

Pretty cool, right?  Well, it actually gets better, believe it or not.  I did NOT know this happens, but that night I came home and saw:

I was all "OMG, that's awesome!"

So, I did all the decorationing and it was pretty cool.  And we had our neighborhood Halloween event.  I did a bit of dressing up:

Pretty fun, eh?  Too bad they didn't have a costume contest category for my age...  ah well :)

Last night was Tricks or Treats.  That was an adventure.  I made little goodie bags for the beggars trick or treaters.  I figured that was a little better than the "random grabbing of candy" that never got mixed up well in my buckets.  They got Smarties, Reese's Cups, Butterfingers, and Paydays.  Pretty good haul, eh?  Well, unless you have a peanut allergy.

I had some pretty good kids come by.  My favorite thing to do is just stare at them until they say "Trick or Treat".  It confuses them at first, but, gotta teach them young that they gotta do things right!

At about 9:00, the rest of the lights in my field of view had turned off, so I turned my porch light off and went upstairs to find something.  At 9:05, there came a tapping at my door.  Not this kind of awesome tapping, but still.  So, I went downstairs and opened the door.

I heard the infamous "Trick or treat!!" greeting.

I asked "Why did you knock instead of ringing the doorbell?" of the COSTUMELESS kids that were at my door.

"We couldn't find the doorbell button," was their reply.

"Aahh...  That's right... Things are easier to see when a porch light is on.  This one is off.  That explains why the doorbell wasn't rung, but isn't an off light the international sign that there's no trick or treat at this location?"

The kids all started apologizing, and I sent them on their merry way.

I did have PLENTY of leftover candy I would have given them if they were in costume (I'm not THAT evil), but at that point, they were like drug addicts -- going around begging for their sugar fix :D

Next year, I think I'm going to do two goodie bags -- one similar to this years for the kids in costume, and one with things like raisins and dental floss for the kids out of costume!

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Weird conversation with my boss

I thought I'd share a conversation I had with my boss while at work today.

Yes, today is Sunday and I'm at work.

No, I don't like it either

[13:51] are you just making up things for Idiot Consultant to do now?
[13:51] what did I make up this time?  (and probably)
[13:51] something about non issues in task force log..
[13:52] I never mentioned the log -- he must have taken it upon himself to look at what's in the log
[13:53] that's what he did
[13:53] where teh DEC 2001 aren't filtered correctly for some reason
[13:53] then I put a couple of the formatting things, and even put "The Company" next tot hem
[13:53] tot hem?
[13:53] and I put my comment about the refresh button gone
[13:53] next to them
[13:54] my fingers get out of sync sometimes
[13:54] it's a problem when you can type >100wpm
[13:54] I write monkey talk but I cant read it
[13:54] that almost made milkshake come out of my nose.  And I know for a fact that kind of milkshake don't bring the boys to the yard
[13:54] i just blow pepsi out by nose
[13:55] blew