Friday, October 21, 2011

Happy End of the World Day!

I am bad.

I sent Office Boyfriend an email reminding him today is the recalculated end of the world (from since they got May 21 wrong).

He replied "I can't respond right now, too busy ascending havenward. So long, sucker!"

So I replied "So THAT'S the reason I won't be ascending!"

(You'll get it later if you don't get it now)

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Damn Debbies

I hate Debbies.

I hate them with a passion!

You see, I went to see The Lion King 3D this evening at my local AMC Theater. It's my favoritest movie in the whole wide world. It's the ONLY movie I've ever paid to see in theaters after I owned it on video.. and now TWICE!

Anyways, I go to the theater and understand that there's going to be children there. It IS a Disney movie, afterall [even though I went to the 8pm showing expecting it to be past most of their bedtimes, but I digress]. I'm "OK" with the occasional chatter of a child when I'm at a Disney movie. I understand that they don't always know better, but sometimes their parents want to see a movie as much as they think the kids do.

Anyways, this group of three Debbies came in to the theater... loud and obnoxious, and wanted to turn the movie into a sing-along. A F'N SING-ALONG! AND THEY WERE MORE TONE DEAF THAN I AM! [Note, if you don't know my voice, it's a cross between William Hung and the Ken Lee girl]. Now, mind you, these were either high school or college aged Debbies. Old enough to know better, but obviously not old enough to appreciate things.

Now, let's think about this. The price of a ticket is $11. Add $4 for the 3D glasses. I was talked into the $12 Stubs program. And I bought $11.50 worth of concessions. So, that's $38.50. I could sit in the cheap seats at the Fox Theater of a live show for that price. But, I digress.

So, these Debbies were talking through half the movie, and singing along, and jumping about. Completely disturbing the enjoyment of the movie. And, at the end, they decide to squeal!

While I understand that everyone sitting in that theater probably has seen the movie before, and some of us can quote it line for line, there's a simple appreciation for a film being able to see it on the big screen. Especially at the prices movies have gotten to be.

I partially blame AMC Theaters for this. While they can't screen every patron that comes through their doors to ensure the movie experience will be enjoyable for everyone, they CAN have their ushers "patrol" the theaters to ensure people are being quiet [it wouldn't have been polite to other patrons for me to yell across the theater to demand they shut up, especially in front of children*]. Apparently the "Please be courteous to others" segment before movies isn't doing enough.

And, for that matter, opening your cell phone to look at the time or check messages, or whatever you do should get you banned from theaters.

So, AMC, please patrol your theaters during showings. At these ticket prices, I'm sure you can afford to hire someone to sit in the theater to keep people quiet. It should not be up to a patron to exit a movie, spend time to find someone who works there to correct the problem. You MISS pieces of the movie that way.

Kinda makes me wish I lived near the Alamo Drafthouse:

*Yes, I understand that I don't normally think of things like this, but I DO TRY not to be a bad influence on children.

Friday, August 5, 2011

What's the difference between jelly and jam?


So, we were doing our regular lunch routine.

Office Boyfriend, Other Gay, and I were watching Family Feud in the break room while we ate our Subway sandwiches.

And a Smucker's commercial came on.

And, Office Boyfriend innocently asked, "What's the difference between jelly and jam?"

I covered my mouth instantly. For good reason -- other people were in the break room.

When it cleared, OB & OG wanted to know what I stopped in my tracks for.

I innocently said, "You can't jelly your cock up someone's ass."

The sheer looks of horror....

Then, I had to explain that it was a joke on How I Met Your Mother that Barney said that offended Lilly so bad she stayed away for like five episodes (while Alyson Hannigan was preggers)

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Still more McDonald's

So, after the response from the General Manager of the local McDonald's, went back (not with my "free meal letter", rather as a regular customer) to see if anything has change.

After my experience, I replied to the GM with this:
Ms. General Manager,
I would like to let you know I revisited the 1305 Powers Ferry Rd McDonald's location again today by way of the drive through. My visit was in the heart of the "dinner service" at 6pm. There was no line in the drive through. Below are my reactions (as a continuation of my previous feedback through
- I ordered a Mickey D's Sweet Tea as my beverage with the hopes the "automated beverage machine" wouldn't underfill my beverage. Again, my beverage was underfilled -- almost 1/2" below the "fill line" inside the cup.
- The ice in my beverage was filled as if the Sweet Tea was freshly brewed. This made me feel more cheated out of my beverage as I was able to refill the cup full of ice with my 16.9oz bottle of water and it filled higher than when the cup of Mickey D's Sweet Tea was presented to me. So, I got less than half the amount than the advertised 32oz.
- My fries were cold and tasted stale (I live 1.4 miles / 4 minutes from the location. Not enough time for them to get stale OR cold)
- My quarter pounder with cheese was equally cold and stale tasting.

Please do not feel I'm singling out this McDonald's location in my complaint. I receive similar customer service at most McDonald's locations I visit. This is weird to me as Chick-Fil-A is my fast food restaurant of choice. They don't have automated machines to fill beverages. They don't have pre-cooked foods sitting in containers for who knows how long. They don't have "self-serve" machines for their beverages. Chick-Fil-A employees handle everything on the food/beverage side of the customer experience. I RARELY wait longer than 2-3 minutes after placing my order before my food is in hand. And the times I do, there's a restaurant full of people, so it's expected it could happen. And, no matter how slow the Chick-Fil-A location is, my food always makes it home HOT -- and I am more than twice as far away from the nearest Chick-Fil-A as I am from the Powers Ferry McDonald's.
Unfortunately, the McDonald's philosophy seems to be the opposite - get machines to greet you at the drive through; Get machines to dispense beverages (poorly); Let food set until it's cold and still serve it; Make the customer fill their own beverage when dining in; Have extended wait times when there shouldn't be. Taking the "service" part out of "Customer Service"
So, why is it I have 110% satisfaction at Chick-Fil-A, yet have a significantly lower satisfaction at a restaurant that has so many "efficiencies" in place? (And how are they "efficiencies" when I've seen Chick-Fil-A serve more customers per register during a busy lunch rush than McDonald's) There are many items on the McDonald's menu I enjoy, but am reluctant to enjoy them due to the experiences at McDonald's in general.
Seriously -- I know I love Jesus Chicken even though I'm supposedly not allowed to (I don't support the previous link), and I eat there WAY too much (a friend of mine says I'm there "more than any church-goer [he] knows"). But, the reason I go back is because their customer service ROCKS! And their food tastes AWESOME! You're not treated like another dollar that needs to be ensured via food cost. The problem is Jesus Chicken isn't open on Sundays (a philosophy I'm not completely against).

Why can't other places be like that?

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

I got ANOTHER response

Ignoring my repeated previous responses, I got yet another response from McDonald's.

This is still kinda form-lettered, but a little more tailored.
Dear Mr. Unprdctble:

Thank you for taking the time to share your recent experience at the McDonald’s located at 1305 Powers Ferry Road, Marietta, GA. As the General Manager of this restaurant, I apologize that you were not satisfied with your recent visit.

Our goal is 100-percent customer satisfaction and my team works hard to deliver fast, friendly, and accurate service to guarantee that each visit you make is a pleasant one. I’m sorry that you encountered slow service in the Drive-Thru and that your soda was under-filled.

Please be assured that your comment serves as a valuable reminder that our customers are our number one priority. I have shared your experience with my team. If you have any further problems please don’t hesitate to call me.

Please give me a call at your convenience to discuss your visit or accept our apology and stop back by with this letter for a free meal.


General Manager's Name
General Manager
Powers Ferry Road McDonald’s
(770) XXX-XXXX
Note the underlining! It really was underlined there in what was sent!

Now, should I call or not? And if so, what should I say other than "Dude! You need to actually fill cups!"?

Friday, May 20, 2011

I got a response!

So, I got a response from my complaint to McDonald's.

On May 18, I got the following:
Hello Smply:

I want to thank you for taking the time to share your recent experience at the McDonald's in Marietta, GA with me. Your feedback is very important to us as it allows us to better understand how we can improve our service to you.

I am sorry for your dissatisfaction with the portion size of the drinks and for the slow service you received. Please be assured that we want to provide you with an exceptional experience every time you visit us. From your email, it is clear we did not meet your expectations. Again, I am truly sorry we disappointed you.

I want you to know that I have already taken action on your feedback. After reading your email, I immediately shared the information you brought to our attention with the local franchise owner of the restaurant you visited. Additionally, I notified our regional McDonald's consultant who works with this owner for follow-up in the restaurant and appropriate corrective action.

Again, Smply, thank you for sharing your feedback. We appreciate your business and we hope to have the pleasure of serving you soon.

McDonald's Customer Response Center
What's funny is I got the exact same form letter on May 19.

I doubt anything will be done, but peeps said they wanted to know if I got a response.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

My letter to McDonald's

I had a pretty wrong experience at my local McDonald's. So bad that I decided to write a letter, which I'm sharing with you.
Today, I was embarrassed for my local McDonald's.

Today, I visited the McDonald's on Powers Ferry just south of Delk. I spent two or three minutes waiting to decide when another customer told me about the 2 for $2.50 Egg McMuffins. So, I made my purchase of 2 Egg McMuffins, a pair of hashbrowns, and a large soda at 9:47am.

During the time I was waiting for my food, three customers complained about the orange juice filling an inch below the cup lid. The employee's response was always "That's for room in case you want ice." Seriously, who wants ice in their orange juice? I say charge an extra nickel and fill it -- and if someone wants ice in their OJ, it becomes their loss of volume and a few cents in McD's pockets. (This is not my first complaint about this as when I order through the drive through, my soda is always an inch from the top -- and it has ice in it)

I digress -- I continued waiting for my food. Eventually, people who ordered as I walked in had finished eating their meals and left. In the end, it took thirteen minutes from the time I ordered to the time I got my food. Thirteen minutes to get something off the menu labeled a "Number One." That is beyond ridiculous for a "fast food" restaurant when there was only one order in front of mine.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

We won!

So, The Company had some "Heart Healthy" photo contest where "you and up to 6 of your coworkers" can enter a photo. Something about red and heart healthy is the theme.

Our Fearless Leader suggested it at our team meeting (prior to my Jury Duty) and suggested we all wear red that Friday (since it was "Wear Red For Heart Healthy Friday" anyways) and we would take some sort of picture.

Office Boyfriend suggested we organize ourselves in the shape of a heart. As in the shape in a deck of cards, not the organ. I wonder how they decided that the two were the same... but, I digress.

So Friday came and we were one short as SOMEONE decided to be out sick [or was his son sick? I don't recall]. So, Other Gay was asked to join us. Zebra Girl was also asked to join us somehow. I don't recall how, but it caused us to have to rethink our positioning for the shape.

We decided to do our photo shoot on the 4th floor with the camera person looking over the balcony of the 5th floor. Office Boyfriend gets us in position from overhead, and we take a few photos.

When we look at them, Office Boyfriend's burgundy ["not red"] shirt stuck out like a sore thumb. And we weren't quite a perfect heart shape. So we decided to reshoot that afternoon.

Knowing what we were aiming for, we went back downstairs and got a few more pictures.

Office Boyfriend's shirt still stuck out, but the shape came out more awesome! So, Fearless Leader's husband photoshopped the shirt to be red and this is what we submitted:

No, we don't all look like that, but I wasn't about to post anyone's face without their permission. And, in order to get permission, I'd have to divulge I have a blog, and I'm not about to let any of my coworkers know where it exists. but, in case you were wondering, clockwise around we have:
  • Me
  • Fearless Leader
  • Someone without a nickname
  • Other Gay
  • Someone else without a nickname
  • Office Boyfriend
  • Zebra Girl
After we decided we'd submit that, I pointed out we were even more symmetrical with the boy/girl on each side (and even symmetrical when it comes to sexuality, but that's besides the point). So, symmetry makes things more perfect!

We got a notice yesterday that WE WON!

I'm hoping we won fairly and not by default by being the only people who submitted a photo. But, either way, we EACH got a $100 gift card to our little discount store we have here at The Company!

Friday, February 11, 2011

Heh heh -- I said "duty"

So, I had jury duty this week. But, it's actually a lot more interesting than that!

Now, it's been 15 years since I turned 18.

The first time I got a jury duty summons, I was in college. No vehicle. So I had to take a bus from Boston out to Western Mass. After I got there, I called the number that they tell you to call the night before. Apparently my pool wasn't selected to attend, so I had officially fulfilled my jury duty requirement. I took a bus back the next day. Why didn't I wait to take the bus until after I called? Because it's basically a 4+ hour excursion to go from campus to Harvard Square to South Station and wait for a bus to head to Springfield then to Northampton. I wouldn't have made it.

The second time I got a jury duty summons I was moving from Dekalb County to Cobb County. I didn't have to serve.

Then, in January I got my summons for Cobb County.

Crap. I can't just up and move to get out of it. I decided to not put off the pain even though it was a bad time (the random follow-up time would have been just as inconvenient, most likely). So, I suck it up.

Apparently I didn't read it right (or ignored it Mother told me when she said I had told her before) but the night or two before I learned it wasn't jury duty for one day... it was jury duty for ONE WEEK!

Yes, kids -- ONE WEEK!

I thought being out of work for a day was going to be bad, but the potential of being out for a week is ridiculous.

But, I suck it up.

I showed up Monday at 8:30, as ordered. I check in. I sit down and am waiting for whatever is supposed to happen.

The Judge shows up and gives the opening statements greeting us and telling us how awesome we are just by being there. It sounds like BS, but it also sounds about as legit, so I figure it's fine. I mean, "just by being [t]here, we're making justice happen!"

During these statements, I look over to the opposite side and see someone who looks familiar.

Very familiar. WORK FAMILIAR! But I can't get a name for the life of me (It happens before 9:30). But I'm in luck! They're going to be displaying which jury pool we're in on the screens, so I can find the name that way!

The names are going by real quickly, then I see her name! I couldn't remember my boss's boss's name. (Well, technically my boss's boss's boss, but that's splitting hairs). I've met her in a few meet and greets, but seriously didn't think she'd remember me.

So I see her trying to look for her name on the board. I go to her and tell her she's in pool 10. She looks at me and pretty much knows who I am (although I don't know if she had a name or not... later she said my name, but I don't know if she went to ask people who I am through emails or happened to see it on my jury duty summons or if she's really that good). And we're talking. And I said "What are the chances of two of us from The Company being in jury duty together?"

She said "Three. So-and-so from Tax is over there."

So, we all create a little click together and talk and network the first morning. Talking about everything from Glee to kids and on.

10:00 comes and we're told if we parked at the library, we should go get our vehicles at lunch and move them to the closer parking lot (guess what, that's me.. also boss's boss). We really didn't feel like doing all that...

11:00 comes and we're informed pools 1-4 are allowed to go to lunch until 1:30, but the rest of us must stay.

11:30 comes and the rest of us are told we can go to lunch. I asked if we HAD to move our vehicles, and jury duty lady said we didn't, but she suggested it because there won't be transportation back.

My boss's boss asks us where we want to go. We really don't care, as long as we get out of the courthouse. We manage to find Shillings on the Square. And let me tell you it was GOOD!

In the middle of lunch, she starts asking random work things. I joke, "If we're going to talk work, we need to expense lunch." -- she replied "I was already planning on buying lunch." -- I was like "You don't have to do that, but thanks!"

So, it was an even cooler lunch as I got to talk. And, in the middle of eating, we somehow got to talking about tickets and stuff. I asked if The Company had box seats to non-sporting events and she said they do. So, I half-jokingly asked if I could have NKOTBSB tickets when they're in town. She said if nobody else wants them, I can have them. SCORE! That means I hafta remember in June to remind her of her promise! :)

We get back to the courthouse and start to settle in. Then we decide to quickly run to get coffee (chai in my case) to get a little caffeine to wake up. Then we sit and wait... and wait.. and wait...

Finally, about 2:30, the jury duty leader lady comes in and says "Thanks to y'all being here, we moved through 27 cases! So, your being here helped justice happen." -- then told us everyone but pools 1-4 can go home. WOOHOO! I'm in 7!

So, we pack up and head downstairs. Then we realize we don't know the most efficient route to the library. So we ask a bailiff how to get back. He goes and calls someone to give us a ride. NOT what we expected, but thank you! On the way back we get to the library and my reaction was "That's the distance? You're KIDDING me. We could have WALKED that in the time it took you to get the van!"

We were told to call back the jury voicemail line after 6pm to hear our instructions for Tuesday. So, I did and found out we were due to be there for 9:30 the next day.

A little later that evening, I got an email from my boss's boss saying "Yep.. see you in the morning!" -- then she emailed me asking if my license plate was something. I told her it was, but was kinda confused a little.

The following morning, we met up in the courtroom. Started chit-chatting and stuff. She brought up that I caused a song to get stuck in her head thanks to my license plate. I kinda giggled. This is also when I pointed out that not only were there three of us from The Company together, but I work on the 14th floor of the SE tower, Tax-Person works on the 14th floor of the SW tower, and Boss's Boss works on the 14th floor of the N tower. That's all three towers and 14th floor. How much more coincidence can you get?

About 9:45, jury pools 1, 2, and 3 were called back (and a couple additional people because I guess the pools were incomplete?). One of the poor people did not seem like he was all the way there. I mean, he was carrying a couple Publix plastic bags full of bunched up clothes. Kinda like I do when I go visit fambly... throw my dirty clothes in bags... But, I digress... I wasn't on the pool.

This is when I did math. There were 120 of us in the room (although there's usually more it seems, but we'll take that number). Multiply that by $25/day. 5 days a week. 50 weeks a year. That's $780,000/year of our taxpayer money (unless they come from court fees, but still!)

About 10:45 or so, jury coordinator lady comes in and says "I have good news..."

Everyone starts grumbling and groaning, so I proclaim "WOOHOO!!!!!" causing peeps to kinda giggle and lighten the mood.

Jury coordinator lady says "Because you were here, the two cases we've kept you here for were taken care of, so you can go home! One was a really messy divorce and they decided on a bench trial, and the other was a 15-count child abuse case, and they took a plea. And, since justice has been taken care of, you're free to go!"

In our little click, we said it would have been fun to be on the divorce case, but if any of us was on the child abuse case, the person would have FRIED!

So, we left. Had great conversations with boss's boss on the way to our cars and she's actually a VERY COOL person! I like her!

6pm Tuesday I called and we were told we didn't have to come in Wednesday. So I got to go to work. Yay!

6pm Wednesday, I called and we were told we didn't have to return the remainder of the week.

So, my jury duty was a lot of sitting around, but I did get to network some, so it was all cool. And I can't wait to see NKOTBSB! Who wants to go with?

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

My experience with the BBB

First, I apologize to my four readers that I haven't been posting in a LONG time. It's been mostly an uneventful period. A few minorly exciting things happened, but nothing noteworthy for the four of you (Unless you count getting a Jury Duty summons).

That being said, I had my first experience with the BBB!

Here's the story.

Back in December, I ordered something off one of the online deal sites I frequent. I used Paypal as my payment method as I had money there. It was a whopping $11.44. But, I never got an order number, nor did I get the item I ordered.

So, after 30 days, I emailed them. I got no response.

Then Snowpocalypse happened [oh yeah, something exciting DID happen.. We became Hothlanta!... here's some pictures!], and there was no mail (or deliveries of ANY kind as you can see), so I gave a few more days.

Then I tried several forms of contact and absolutely nothing.

I decided to do the resolution system in Paypal. But, alas, it was just over the 45-day limit, so they wouldn't refund me my money. Darn Snowpocalypse!

So, this past Saturday, I went to the BBB online. I registered the following complaint:
I placed an order with on Dec 10 at 10:13am via their PayPal checkout system. The PayPal transaction ID is . I have not received the item I ordered, and my numerous attempts to contact for an order status have gone unanswered.
I got a standard automated reply saying "We'll look into it, but it will take several days".

Monday at 3:07pm, I got the following email:
Dear Smply Unprdctble:

This message is in regard to your complaint submitted on 1/29/2011 10:22:39 AM against . Your complaint was assigned ID .

Your complaint has been sent to the business for their response. The entire complaint process can take four to six weeks from the time we receive your complaint. Once they have responded to the BBB, we will contact you again. During the complaint process the company may try to contact you personally to clarify information or try to resolve the complaint. We encourage you to be open to their correspondence or attempt to resolve the claim. We ask that you advise us in writing by email, fax or mail if your claim is settled directly with the company.


Person Named
The Better Business Bureau
Then, Monday at 3:51pm I got my $11.44 refunded!

This morning, I got the following from the BBB:
Dear Smply Unprdctble :

This message is in regard to your complaint submitted on 1/29/2011 10:22:39 AM against . Your complaint was assigned ID .

The business has sent the BBB a message regarding this complaint, and we are passing it on to you. The contents of this message are below or attached. Please respond to this message at your first convenience.


Person Named
The Better Business Bureau


I do apologize for this issue. I looked over all communication and could not locate any emails from Mr. Unprdctble. I also looked into his order and indeed there was a payment but a Paypal notification was never received so an order was never generated. I have issued a full refund back to his account and do apologize for the inconvenience.
I think it's pretty cool that it was resolved quickly. I didn't WANT to get the BBB involved, but I do have copies of several emails, including one that went through their site. If they can't find those communications, something's wrong.

That being said, I'm probably going to continue to make purchases through them. I may have to go back to the standard credit card order instead of going through Paypal (unless I remember to file a complaint within the 45 days).