Monday, December 16, 2013

You're impeding the progress of a minority!

So, I have two tickets for report changes for the peeps I like to support and everyone else hates because "they're too demanding."

Ok, had two tickets.  I sent one over to the Admin team because the "simplest" fix to that report is for the data to get fixed (an elimination didn't eliminate it to 0, rather to -1)

Anyways, I have a report fix for that in case the Admin team can't do their job, and I also have a set of reports for the other ticket I'd like to do.

Except, I can't do anything.

We're required to do our development in DEV now.  Except, DEV has no data for the application these reports point to.  And when I mean no data, the database file size is 0.  For some reason those idiots in Technical cleared the application.

So, I made the changes in DEV and was like "I'll test it in UAT!" -- So, I imported the reports into UAT.  Nope.  There's something going on with UAT that the reports will not run.

I've sent a number of emails to Technical saying "hey, you're preventing me from working" (I want to put "you're impeding the progress of a minority!", but they may get too confused).

I'm about ready to be like this:


Friday, November 15, 2013

These are not the droids you are looking for

So, I'm working from home yesterday.

I'm grooving through, being lazy an doing nothing getting things done, then all of a sudden, there's a knock-knock-knock at my door.

Now, the last time there was a knock at my door, it was Trick or Treaters.  Apparently this time it was just a Trick.

I open the door hoping it's the hot pest control guy, only to find this gentleman wearing yellow jeans (seriously? I know I know nothing about fashion, but REALLY?  Yellow jeans?  I don't understand).

"Are you expecting me?" he asks.

I give him a look of "I need more clarification as to what you're talking about, Willis."

He adds, "I'm Chris...?"

I look at him a little further and realize he's a homosexical.  DEFINITELY not my type.  And I responded "Oh!  I think you're looking for next door!" (ya know.. my gaybors)

It's not the first time something like this has happened.  I've had one other knock related to a trick my gaybor set up a few years ago, coincidentally on another work from home day (what's up with people not reading addresses?  Or, at least CALL the person you're expecting to meet to make sure you got the right house?).  Then there's the story of someone who accidentally went to the gaysian's house [opposite side of the gaybor], nobody was home, and went the wrong direction to walk in on a neighbor laying on the floor with his infant son.  (That one, apparently the cops got called and that)

To make things funnier, since it was my work from home, I hadn't showered yet, so I was all funky and hair all over.  The only thing I could imagine going through the poor trick's head was "he SO doesn't look like his pic!"

Friday, November 1, 2013

It's the Great Pumpkin!

First, this year was my very first year putting up a Halloween decoration!  It surprises a bunch of people because... well...  I'm a big kid at heart.  Behold my decoration:


Pretty cool, right?  Well, it actually gets better, believe it or not.  I did NOT know this happens, but that night I came home and saw:



I was all "OMG, that's awesome!"

So, I did all the decorationing and it was pretty cool.  And we had our neighborhood Halloween event.  I did a bit of dressing up:


Pretty fun, eh?  Too bad they didn't have a costume contest category for my age...  ah well :)

Last night was Tricks or Treats.  That was an adventure.  I made little goodie bags for the beggars trick or treaters.  I figured that was a little better than the "random grabbing of candy" that never got mixed up well in my buckets.  They got Smarties, Reese's Cups, Butterfingers, and Paydays.  Pretty good haul, eh?  Well, unless you have a peanut allergy.

I had some pretty good kids come by.  My favorite thing to do is just stare at them until they say "Trick or Treat".  It confuses them at first, but, gotta teach them young that they gotta do things right!

At about 9:00, the rest of the lights in my field of view had turned off, so I turned my porch light off and went upstairs to find something.  At 9:05, there came a tapping at my door.  Not this kind of awesome tapping, but still.  So, I went downstairs and opened the door.

I heard the infamous "Trick or treat!!" greeting.

I asked "Why did you knock instead of ringing the doorbell?" of the COSTUMELESS kids that were at my door.

"We couldn't find the doorbell button," was their reply.

"Aahh...  That's right... Things are easier to see when a porch light is on.  This one is off.  That explains why the doorbell wasn't rung, but isn't an off light the international sign that there's no trick or treat at this location?"

The kids all started apologizing, and I sent them on their merry way.

I did have PLENTY of leftover candy I would have given them if they were in costume (I'm not THAT evil), but at that point, they were like drug addicts -- going around begging for their sugar fix :D

Next year, I think I'm going to do two goodie bags -- one similar to this years for the kids in costume, and one with things like raisins and dental floss for the kids out of costume!

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Weird conversation with my boss


I thought I'd share a conversation I had with my boss while at work today.

Yes, today is Sunday and I'm at work.

No, I don't like it either

[13:51] are you just making up things for Idiot Consultant to do now?
[13:51] what did I make up this time?  (and probably)
[13:51] something about non issues in task force log..
[13:52] I never mentioned the log -- he must have taken it upon himself to look at what's in the log
[13:53] that's what he did
[13:53] where teh DEC 2001 aren't filtered correctly for some reason
[13:53] then I put a couple of the formatting things, and even put "The Company" next tot hem
[13:53] tot hem?
[13:53] and I put my comment about the refresh button gone
[13:53] next to them
[13:54] my fingers get out of sync sometimes
[13:54] it's a problem when you can type >100wpm
[13:54] I write monkey talk but I cant read it
[13:54] that almost made milkshake come out of my nose.  And I know for a fact that kind of milkshake don't bring the boys to the yard
[13:54] i just blow pepsi out by nose
[13:55] blew

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Dear McDonalds (Again)


I would like to share my feedback I'm providing to my local McDonald's.  I understand going back was probably a mistake after my previous incident.  Especially after their response.  But, it's a completely new building with new management.  It should be better, right?

Anyway, here goes:
I would like to make you aware of my most recent visit. 
At approximately 7:45pm this evening, I entered the restaurant.  I noted who appeared to be the manager sitting at a table with a couple employees.  Based on the excerpts I heard, scheduling was being discussed. 
I was the only customer in the restaurant, as it appeared.  I stepped back as I was making my decision as is polite. 
Upon making my decision (An Angus CBO meal large-sized), I approached the counter.
I watched the one of the employees trying to make a smoothie.  I also watched the other three gathered around someone's smartphone looking at what I'm assuming was photos.  After a full 60 seconds, "Smoothie Girl" asked if I had been helped yet.  I responded with no, and walked out of the restaurant. 
Being ignored for a full minute in an empty restaurant is unacceptable.  Also, in my opinion, employees playing on their cellular devices while on the clock is unacceptable. 
This visit, combined with my previous two where my orders were given to me incomplete and weren't noticed until I got home, shows me that even though the building may be fresh and new, the employees' training is not.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Paul Ryan is an asshole. And there were riots!

This post probably is violating a lot of rules.  Some I know, some I probably don't.  Either way, my disclaimer at the bottom of the page is SUPPOSED to keep me safe if HR is right.

Additionally, I apologize for the profanity.

I would like to announce I was an Undecided Voter.  Not particularly the SNL kind.  But, I was undecided. Simply because there's things about each candidate I liked.  The keyword now is "WAS!"

So, my commute this evening took TWO FUCKING HOURS!

Yes.

Two hours to travel sixteen miles.  That's an average of what?  Eight miles per hour, math geeks?

I'm on Williams St, and get stopped around the TBS building (Although, according to those bumps on Adult Swim, I think that's where those folks are at.  I don't know... *shifts eyes coyly*) like I normally do after I turn onto Williams St from 10th.

And then, we're not really moving.  I mean, we're kinda moving as if there's a huge accident and people are having difficulty moving around.

A few more light cycles (not to be confused with a light cycle), I decided there must be some major accident.  I can't do anything about it, so I don't stress... I just chilled, cranked the music and started laughing.

Then the information started coming in.

It wasn't an accident.

I noticed that it didn't look like there was anyone at all on the interstate.  That was weird.

Then my worst fears were found.

I present you this tweet:  https://twitter.com/ajcwsbtraffic/status/261217358453018624

That ASSHOLE decided to shut down THE DOWNTOWN CONNECTOR DURING RUSH HOUR so he could raise funds to get people to vote for him and his presidential co-runner?

How many things are wrong with that?

He pissed off how many millions of voters?

Let's not mention people had no clue what was going on (in their defense, I wasn't following @ajcwsbtraffic  but I am now), so horns are honking and people are getting pissed!

I'm sitting in my truck... chilling... it's in park, I'm dancing to the music, laughing at the pissed off people.  Just enjoying it.

(Although, an Xpress bus is probably in trouble 'cuz he was in a left turn lane trying to get around something with traffic and pissed off a LOT of people behind it.  'Cuz they wanted to turn left and there was no way around.  In his defense, he probably didn't know what the congestion was and was trying to get his passengers home, but what he was trying to do was illegal anyway...  I still blame the whole situation on Paul Ryan)

The horns are getting louder.  The people are getting more aggravated.  But, Subsonic isn't letting me run out of music!

Behind me, I see people getting out of their cars.  Flailing their hands.  Cussing up a storm.

Oh, gee... Riots.

Finally, the motorcade reaches it's destination, so the Downtown Connector (and the rest of I-75) are opened.  Pissed off motorists resume their commute.  I'm thanking heaven I didn't go to Farbucks and get something that'd make me have to pee.

So, because Paul Ryan pissed me off, I'd like to publicly let it be known I'm no longer an Undecided Voter.  It takes some smarts to think to ruin millions of commuters evenings.  I'd hate to think how many day care people were late because of this.  Aren't they fined by the MINUTE for being late?

I leave this with three hypothetical questions:

  1. Who's idea is it to actually shut down the interstate for a political figure?  Leaving them as the ONLY target for miles.  *insert random NCIS, CSI, etc scenario here*
  2. Who's bright idea is it to shut down a major Interstate used by millions of people DURING RUSH HOUR?  Much less, shut it down well before he even leaves the airport?
  3. And, finally, why the hell couldn't he have landed at Dobbins ARB since he was heading to the Cobb Energy Center anyways?  Shutting down a small portion of Cobb Pkwy (or even 75S from there -- reverse from rush hour traffic) would have been a better idea.
And, if other Undecided Voters have this same experience, I know who's going to win the election!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

I got a new pen!

And, it's Social Media related, so I thought I'd share it with you.

Isn't it so cute?

When you hit the button, the saying changes. They say:
  • Company posts need company approval.
  • Keep business & personal posts separate.
  • Protect privacy: yours and others.
  • Follow company policies.
  • Social Media: think before you post.
  • Don't post confidential information.

Wow -- really? People have to be reminded of that?

But, my pen here at work ran out of ink, so I needed a new one. Nice temporary one!

(Notice how I managed to keep all of The Company's logos out of the picture by strategically taking the shot? :D)