Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Yes, I know I'm evil!

So, we all know I have this odd way of being crazy.

Along with this idea that I have interesting conversations.

Or leave people speachless.

And have really weird conversations like this and this.

Today, I was in Scumberland Mall. As I was leaving, I was ambushed by some girl at the Dead Sea Spa Kiosk. Obviously trying to make a sale.

She forced some of their salt scrub product in my hand and had me rub and exfoliate with it. She does her talking and I explain I don't like the oily feeling it leaves (I really don't. It's disgusting).

Then she starts to go on about how bad my manicure is.

I then have to inform her that the Korean ladies have been known to fight over who gets to do my nails because I have such soft and lovely hands.

Let's not forget she's keeps telling me that their product would end up causing all the girls to be after me. I giggled.

In order to get away from her, I decided I would inform her that I would be back for the holi-daze to buy something for my sister. THEN the pitch comes in. Normally the manicure product would sell for $59.99, but today only, she could sell it to me for $49.99. And today only, it would be BOGO, so I could get one for my mother!

That's when I decided to have at it.

I started tearing up. As the tears welled up, I told the girl that I my mother was no longer alive. I went on saying we were out at a great lobster restaurant and the lobster she picked broke out of it's claw bands and attacked her jugular, leaving the entire restaurant in a bloody mess. That, combined with dad's unfortunate incident with a cow, has caused me to have difficulty going to almost any restaurant without choking up.

The look on her face was priceless.

Of course, the story I told her isn't true. But it allowed me to get away from her and have a little fun at the same time!