"Why?", you ask?
"Because I gave her a birthday present."
"This has to be some horrible birthday present!", you say?
"Nope. It was a laptop."
"Wow, will you adopt me into your family? You're such a good brother. But, why is she plotting revenge if you gave her a laptop?"
"It took her an hour to unwrap it. It was wrapped in an entire roll of saran wrap and an entire roll of duct tape."
"Ok, that's kinda mean"
But, on this date, she vowed revenge. She even went as far as to telling a few people what she was planning (which hasn't gotten back to me, but I don't care).
Well, we went halfs on Mother's Mother's Day present. She told me to send her a card and she'd give to to mom with the gift. I also needed to send Nan a mousepad, so Wal Mart seemed the place to go. Friday, I went shopping for Mother's Day cards... I'm looking at the cards, and what's on the other side of the aisle? CONFETTI!
I get everything home and am thinking "CRAP! I can't do this 'cuz I don't want confetti all over Nan's mousepad. I can't be that evil to her! It'd take her forever to get the glitter off the pad!" -- then I realize I have quart-sized freezer bags in the cupboard!
I put Nan's mousepad in the freezer bag and into the giant envelope. Signed the cards, put confetti in one of them, and sealed them and placed them in the giant envelope. Then I started pouring the confetti into the envelope... and pouring.. and pouring... and realized that you get a LOT of confetti for 97 cents!
After the giant envelope was sealed, I put packaging tape around the corners so no confetti could leak out. And I brought it to the Post Office. After the standard beginning of the conversation, we had this:
"Are there any dangerous materials in the package?"It was sent out and I forgot about it.
"Is confetti a dangerous material?"
*funny look* "Um.. no"
"Ok, no dangerous materials."
"Would you like delivery confirmation on this?"
"Oh, I'll know as SOON as it gets delivered..."
12:14 today my phone rings and it's my sister:
"Why do you have to be such a pain in the neck?"
"Not only is it all over my hands, but it's on the floor."
"Oh, you got your package!"