Monday, December 8, 2008

Christmas Music!

Ok, we've all heard them -- and if you claim you haven't, you're lying -- those pesky holiday songs that are played constantly from Thanksgiving until Christmas.

The problem is I only like them when it's NOT the holiday season for some reason. I think it's more because they're forced on ya. I decided this today when I was working and someone had their speakers turned up to the point where I can BARELY hear it and I was annoyed. Yet I had no problems turning on Pandora to a holiday station and I'm happy.

But, I digress. That's not the reason for this post. I'm confused about a few songs.

First, we'll talk about "Winter Wonderland." The song goes:
In the meadow we can build a snowman,
Then pretend that he is Parson Brown

He'll say: Are you married?
We'll say: No man,
But you can do the job
When you're in town
Now, if you read a little into that, apparently the singer wants Parson Brown to do things that a married person would normally do. Follow my logic here -- one has sexual relations with their marital partner, so we'll jump to the conclusion that the song is talking about extra-marital sex!

Then there's "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year." Follow these lyrics:
There'll be parties for hosting
Marshmallows for toasting
And caroling out in the snow
There'll be scary ghost stories
And tales of the glories of
Christmases long, long ago
Now, where are these "scary ghost stories"? That is VERY Halloweenish! Now, I understand "A Christmas Carol" has ghosts in it, but it's not particularly "scary" -- at least as long as you're not a Scrooge. But, it also is plural... so that infers MORE than just that one. *shrug*


Princess Sparkle Pants said...

Dang it. You've totally ruined that last song for me forever. It came on last night when I was driving home and I thought - OHHH, SMPLY would totally reference "WHAT scary ghost stories at Christmas?" and I was all, dang it!!!

Thanks, Smply.

Simply Unpredictable said...

So, you're saying that you thought I would reference it last night, then came and saw this blog today? That's a creepy Ghost of Christmas Premonition!

Princess Sparkle Pants said...

A scary ghost story! lol...

But I already knew this about you... that that line bothers you.

Salon Chick said...

How about that some mother is suing the school for signing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer because it's a "Christian" song.

Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw him,
you would even say it glows.

All of the other reindeer
used to laugh and call him names.
They never let poor Rudolph
join in any reindeer games.

Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say:
"Rudolph with your nose so bright,
won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"

Then all the reindeer loved him
as they shouted out with glee,
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer,
you'll go down in history!

If it didn't say Christmas it would be okay! Go figure!