Friday, April 17, 2009

I'm finding the craziest things

So, I've been spending the past week or so cleaning out one of the drives on my Linux box. I've found a lot of crap, a lot of porn, and a lot of weird things.

I've even found things back from my college days. Scary.

Anyways, I came across the following story from my Waffle House days. I remember this day vaguely (mostly because of the insomnia that occurred previously), but enjoyed the story.
Background to understand story:
- Cheshire Bridge Rd is the road that I work... I mean I work on. My Waffle House is at the corner of Cheshire Bridge and Alco (small side-street). On the other side of Alco is Opus1 (old decrepid gay men club), 24K Club (strip club), and 404 Motorsports (expensive auto detailing and custom anything). Being the locale of Midtown, of course, Waffle House is going to be full of homos, including those working. And now, for our story...

Picture it - Atlanta - 2002.

July 18th, even - 9:45pm. On Cheshire Bridge Rd at the Waffle House. I'm groggy still from taking Tylenol PM (bad case of insomnia where I was up 75 hours) - I'm so groggy and out of it, I'm still kinda seeing spots and stuff. I'm waiting on my table in the corner and this guy is banging on the window and pointing towards Alco. I look, and don't see anything, and try to go back to what I was doing. I begin hearing an alarm and figure it's someone's car and the guy bangs on the window again, points at 404 and makes some weird motion, and thru the spots, I see a rim rolling by. I'm totally confused, the guy starts walking towards the front door and I put the pieces together - someone's robbing 404 Motorsports!

So I tell Izaak to call the cops since he's at the register (that and I'm still having no idea what's REALLY going on) - Izaak is handling money, so he hands the phone to Melinda to call 911. Melinda dials and everyone else in the restaurant starts dialing on their cell phones. Melinda is telling the poor 911 operator "There's a break-in at 404 and Chestire Bridge - they're stealing strippers from the 24K club" (and I'm the one drugged up). Izaak grabs the phone from her and is like "child - you got it all wrong - Hello? Yes, there's a break in across the street at 404 Motorsports on Cheshire Bridge across from the Waffle House.... Do we have a description? Uh... A couple guys with rimcaps in their van..... Tag number? Child, like we can see that far..... Oohh there was just an accident... They sped out and started heading down Cheshire towards I-85."

I swear, within 2 minutes, there were cops all over the place - yet when WH has problems and we call, it takes an hour or two. But, I digress. Customers are walking out tryin' to see what's going on. The cook goes out to get a piece of the action, thus leaving us without any way to deal with these scattered, smothered, covered hashbrowns. We're all confused, and the cops are piling up, strobes flashing everywhere not helping my seeing spots, Grady ambulance comes up (poor guy), and the fire truck. They clean up the accident and it takes about an hour and a half.

Now, I hear you saying to yourself - "Wasn't this supposed to be a stupid criminal story?" - well, above is the facts as witnessed by myself. Below are facts reported to me by the security officer they called in to take care of the place overnite.

Security guard comes in and orders food - "I wish I had been there, they wouldn't have gotten anything..." - Child, what would the security officer have done? Said "BOO!" - he don't carry a gun. If they wanted stuff still, they would have gotten it.

And, apparently they stole three mis-matched display rims. So we know who did it when you see a White Chevy Conversion Van driving around Atlanta with three mismatched 24" rims and one 19" regular wheel. That, and they left the $70,000 motorcycle in the window. PLEASE, child - if you're gonna have a heist, at least do it right!

I tell ya - that's all we ended up talking about that nite at WH - picking on those poor stupid criminals.

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